Since the beginning of the event, I can tell which artist will go home with MAMA 2010's trophy. All of the artist that sit next to the stage was the winner. None of the came to Macau as 'nominated artist' and they went back to Korea not empty-handed. The event was a little bit gloomy, maybe because the absence of top korean artist, such as Super Junior, Shinee, SNSD and 2AM. The ceremony also look a bit unattracted. For the first time since I become a Kpop fan, I changed the TV channel when the ceremony was on-air. I found it uninterested at times. As for the result, some times I think the winner was someone else, not that artist, like they don't deserve it. Maybe the judges knew better than me, but sometimes the fans know which artist is the best, right? I hope next year, MNet can do some 'examination' and 'operation' to this annual event, maybe they just hold it in Korea, and give the TV-rights to many other country. they still can promote Kpop, at the same time many artist can attend the event, and the fans are happy. Or maybe Mnet just have to hold the event on weekdays, to avoid any clashes with other Korean major music program. I hope next year, MAMA will be better than this year. Anyway, congratulation to all the winner, especially 2NE1, 2PM, and Miss A for their awards..
it's been 4 years since i become a part of Shinhwa Changjo. Initially, i only knew Eric (because of Bulsae, of course!). He really an incredible actor. Back then, I was only 17 years old, relaxing at home after finishing my SPM (Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia). After almost two years in boarding school (which I rarely can watch TV...Hish~), I spend my whole day watching tv. One day, at 6pm, i was watching a drama. At first i though it was a Chinese drama, because it dubbed in Mandarin, but my sister said it's a Korean drama. After a few episode, then i was met with this handsome guy, Eric. till now, bulsae is one of my favorite drama...
Since then, i followed all dramas and movies starred by Eric. I also start to dig up his information through the internet, and I found something interesting, about Shinhwa....
I started to like them because of their variety show. they showed something differrent from other artists. Eventhought all of them are young adult, but they act like a young children, and they suit in variety show really well. Their tittle as GOD of GAMES really suits them, because they can play any game at any time. i follow them through internet (thanks to Youtube!), and i'm proudly spread their craziness to my friends.
All of Shinhwa's member is full of charisma. On the stage, they showed us how determine and hardworking they are. I love all of their songs, especially Crazy and throw my fist. One thing that i really proud as Shinhwa changjo is, I'm the owner of Shinhwa's Volume 9 limited edition, with serial number 49999! it's really hard to find. Actually, it's just a coincident. I was out with my friend to watch movie. We wandered in the shopping complex before going home, suddenly i found something really familiar. the album is hidden behind Fahrenheit's album! My knee weakened, until my friend have to lend some of energy to me. I bought the album with my monthly allowance, and it's really worth for me...
In Malaysia, Shinhwa's merchandise is really hard to find. For almost 4 years, I only get to buy Volume 9, 10th Anniversary concert and a poster. since i still a student, i can't afford to buy through internet, and i have to wait till their album is imported into Malaysia. It's just like finding a needle among millions of hay.
Today, a lot of my friend already shifting their interest to new K-pop group. But as for me, Shinhwa is still be my major addiction to K-Pop. eventhougt sometimes i will go crazy over Bonamana or You Wouldn't Answer My Calls, but when i start to play shinhwa's songs, the thing i'm assure is, I will go crazy over them 2 or 3 times greater! Since Eric, the 4-D leadernim is already back and making colloboration with Hye Sung, and Dongwa also will finish his military duty, I think i only have to count the day as i'm waiting for the rest of them to comeback and to perform together on a stage. i'm really looking foward of it!!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough
Don Henley & Patti Smith
I don't want to lose you
but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side. I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you
but I don't want to be the one to cry.
And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.
(Chorus)
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.
Now, I could never change you
I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.
It makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.
(Chorus)
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.
And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?
And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.
Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No
I love this song. It makes me realize that we cannot rely on love 100% if we want a everlasting relationship. People always have this klise perspective, by loving their partner deeply and truly, they will have a smooth relationship, hence led to a happy marriage life. Actually, love is only a part of factor that can ensure our happy relationship. There are tonnes of aspect that hold us together, and sometimes love on of the reason why we have an unsuccessful relationship. We need to have trust, responsibility, sensibility, understanding each other, and sometimes, money. The combination f this factor with love can help us to develop a blissful marriage life.
By living solely on love is something that you less expects from. Love is only a catalyst. If we ask elderly, a lot of them had arranged marriage. They only met their partner once or twice before marriage, then, walla…they are happy till they die. If we ask them, what are the secrets behind it, and then the answer is simple, try to understand each other. If we ask them, do they love their partner? Then they will answer, they do, eventhough it comes later.
Something that we didn't realize, or we don't want to realize, actually love is a silent killer. It will kill you slowly. It will kill your soul, and then it will kill yourself. Living without a soul is similar to zombie. Sometime when we too love a person, we tend to forget who we are. Because we too love them, we start to feel uncomfortable when they meet someone in opposite sex. We start to become a stalker, following them anywhere, everywhere, anytime. Because we too love them, we feel like dying if they leave us. I read a lot of article and news about people who start to lose their soul and humanity because of love. When their loves one walks away from their life, they start to lose their faith, and they start to disbelieve themselves. Some of them start to abandon themselves, and sometime something more tragic will happen, they will kill their ex-partner or they will kill themselves, or both.
I don't know, later, what type of wife I will be. Maybe I will become an independent wife, a loving wife, an annoying wife, an understanding wife or a selfish wife. One thing that I know, I have to past through this experience on my own, then it will tell what kind of person I will be. Only a person who had the experience will know what kind of lover they are, and what kind of person they are.
Tu la bunyi gamelan kalu main pukul sembrono je..tak sedap gamaknye, macam orang berperang! tapi kalu main dengan gayanya, mmg la sedap, walaupun ade yang cakap dorang ngantuk kalu denga muzik gamelan..tapi pada aku, whatever je laa...~
tadi pergilah aku ke latihan gamelan. setelah lebih dari sebulan tak ada latihan, aku pulang semula ke Unit Kebudayaan UTM..latihan ni sempena pembukaan Pesta Konvokesyen UTM ke 45, & majlis pemahsyuran Canselor UTM..UTM akan menerima Canselor baru!Yay!
Majlis esok bermula pukul 9 malam, tapi aku kene datang petang pasal nak gilap demung (alat yang aku main) sampai kilat..hehe..kilat sampai ley jadi cermin!
latihan tadi, macam kelakar la pulak..sebab dah agak lama tak main, semua jadi kelam kabut. lagu pun mcm denga tak dengar je. tetibe aku denga semua lagu tu jadi pelik. kenapa ye? 2 3 kali jugak aku berhenti main, psal mmg aku rase pelik. aku pandang kiri, aku pandang kanan, aku pandang depan, aku pandang belakang. dan hampir semua yang datang latiihan pun wat muka unik gak, muka pelik pasal lagu semua dah lari dari tune. Hmm..masalah ni... lagi mengharu birukan keadaan, pemukul yang aku selalu pakai tu, tetibe je aku tak jumpe. terpaksala aku pakai pemukul lain. bunyinye, Ya Allah, hancur. mcm bunyi periuk belanga berlaga pun ada jugak! lepas sejam main, aku mmg da hilang sabar, terus bangun & cari pemukul yang aku selalu pakai tu. rupa-rupanya ada tersorok kat belakang gong perasmian..patut la aku tak jumpa~dan mmg kelemahan aku, cari barang...
Ruginya aku...
Hri sabtu ni, pemahsyuran canselor UTM yang baru. tak dapat la aku tengok majlis yang penuh gilang gemilang tu, aku kene pergi Kuantan, pasal sepupu aku kahwin. inilah pengorbanan yang aku buat demi keluarga. kalu tak, tak de maknenye aku nak lepaskan peluang keemasan ni..aku harap kawan2 Gamelan Citra Daksina memberikan persembahan yang terbaik sepanjang ketiadaan aku!( mcm amanat terakhir pulak!) hehe..aku harap aku dapat pulang dengan selamat pada hari isnin, dan bersama yang lain untuk sesi konvokesyen yang seterusnya...
Hmm..akhirnya baru la aku boleh merehatkan diri..tapi, da nak mula semester baru la pulak...kire bermula la tugas aku sebagai pelajar..dah lama aku tak mencurahkan isi inda aku kat blog ni,sejak dari cuti raya lagi..
Hari raya tahun ni...
Sama saja mcam tahun lepas. sebenarnya tak perasan pun bulan puasa dah nak habis. 5 hari sebelum raya, kakak aku beli cat, dan suruh aku cat rumah. 4 hari berturut-turut aku menghadap dinding & cat, sampai rambut aku pun da bertukar sama macam warna cat, dan muka aku pun da jadi mcm dinding! tekanan la jugak.. sehari sebelum raya, aku sibuk tolong masak kat dapur, sampai la pukul 10 malam...kemudian, kemas2 rumah sampai la pukul 6 pagi, kre aku tido lepas subuh. paginye, aku bangun dengan penuh susah payah, pasal aku tengok ketupat pun mcm aku tgk bantal! hush....
Lepas je waktu zohor, akhirnya aku pun mula la 'terbang' ke London..aku ingat aku sorang je yang tak sedar diri, rupa2nya satu rumah tido! kesian kat adik2 yang datang nak beraya...Sorry la adik, kitorang sume tak sedarkan diri..Walaupun aku cuba tahan mata aku ni dari tido dengan tengok cerita-cerita best kat tv, namun akhirnya tv yang tgk aku....
keesokan arinya,aku balik ke Endau, Mersing...
Driving dalam keadaan penat yang teramat sangat..
Sampai kat Ulu Tiram, jalan jammed yang teramat, sampai susah kerea nak bergerak..ada la pulak makhluk2 Allah yang tak reti nak ikut peraturan, & buat jalan sesak dengan lagi teruk! perjalanan 2 setengah jam,da jadi 4 jam....balik jb pun, jalan jammed lagi...akhirnya kau sampai rumah pukul 12.30 mlm....satu hari yang panjang....sangat panjang.....
keesokan harinya....aku pun tak bermaya sepanjang hari....
The traffic was smooth, no congestion, no honking-maniac on the road..
But one thing that remain....
Driver who drive recklessly!!!!
I felt like killing them with my bare hands!
It is hard for them to turn on the indicator if they want to change the lane?
Is it hard for them to wait for their turn before changing the lane?
Is it hard for them to drive in the right lane on the traffic light?
Is it hard for them to drive politely and respect for other driver, especially someone who drive cute-little-malaysian-born-Kancil, just because they are driving modified-brand new Honda Civic?
I'm a driver myself for almost three years. the same problems occur everyday, and the reason is also the same, because driver who drive bigger and expensive car never respect for driver who drive smaller and cheaper car!
They will change lane as they want, then they will squeeze you out of the lane, they will try to provoke you when you are faster than them, and they will show you 'I'm richer and my car look better than yours!' expression.
Sometime i have to keep reminding myself to tolerate and be patience when i'm facing with these kind of arrogance drivers. To make myself feel a little bit easy, i just have to treat them like an idiot who have their brain on their knee..like Malays alway said " letak akal bukan kat kepala, tapi kat kepala lutut!"
To drivers who read my post...please....
When you are driving on the road, please think about others too..
All of us are paying the same RM20 road tax, and we are sharing the same road, and maybe the destination that we will go are the same..
If you intended to drive like a pro-formula one driver, please do that on the circuit.
If you do want to change your lane, please..PLEASE turn on your indicator, because it won't break your precious fingers, and we are not Merlin's relative, who have magic and know when you are changing your lane without any indicator!
We are only an ordinary human being and an ordinary driver, who sometime might involve in accident because of selfish driver who drive like an idiot!
I do pray everyday, that I will never face any accident while driving...
While I was driving back to my room in UTM, I was wondering......
My ideas are drying rite now. an hour before this, i had tonnes of ideas. as soon as I start to type, suddenly I ran out of ideas..what should i do? read more? yes, i think that's one of the best solution. my memory seems to weaken from day by day. what should i do?Hmm..eat a lot of raisins, dates and habbatus sauda..i want my memory to be strong again!! and don' t forget to recite the doa and Al-quran. it's proven that those two things will turn you into a 100GB computer memory..Wow..i want that!
The picture on the left...
this picture is taken during the noon, on my way to the cafeteria. from the picture, you can see I have a long way to go..'Far..far..far...away', as said by Shrek. the same thing goes to my life. i have a long way to go..for now..because who knows when we will die. The road that i taken right now, for me, i have nothing to regret at all. maybe sometimes i feel that I was wrong, but, hey, nobody is perfect! if you are so perfect, then you are not here right now, because you are not real. everybody knows that Allah is the Most Perfect.. The thing that we can do is, to be as perfect as possible to ourself.
we try to fulfill our dreams, whether it's ridiculous or sensible. Who cares, right? As long as i know, I'm the one that will determine the path that i'm taking. maybe one or two people might influence your decision, make sure it's a positive influence, not the bad one. Once you put your though at once, then you will see the path that you take clearly, as clear as crystal..or crystal-clear..or crystal-like clear..( trying to play with words)..
Hmm..it's time for me to gather may thoughts..for now...
Maybe i have to 'review' some of my goals that seems unrealistic..like marrying a korean hunk...huhu..pardon me..It's just a dream of crazy and delusional girls..I have to be realistic, if i want my life to become realistic, not miserable like a tangled rope or cotton thread.
For now, what should i do?
I should do the thing that i should do from the start..
Semalam 18 Julai 2010, tercoret satu sejarah dalam hidup aku. aku dapat merasai ape yang dirasai oleh semua pelajar tahun akhir Petroleum engineering..hehe..kesian aku tgk budak-budak tahun satu yang kena dera malam-malam buta sambil ditutp matanya..
sebenarnya semua pelajar tahun satu perlu melalui semua ini, termasuklah aku,pada 3 tahun yang lepas. kalu diikut sisi positif, sebenarnya aktiviti ni mampu menguji mental adik2 baru ni, sejauh mana kekuatan dan kesungguhan mereka. ada yang nak nangis, ade yang gigit tangan akak2, ade yang tercicr dari group, ade yang terlalu berat mulut dan macam2 lagi la..
aktiviti semalam bermula dengan mengejutkan adik2 ni sume bangun dari tidur (2.30 pg) dan yang pastinya, aku pun dapat tidur2 ayam itik untuk sejam sebelumnya. memang la penat, tapi untuk dapat pengalaman ni, tk ternilai.. adik2 ni mmg teruk kene 'dera' (w/out physical contact). ramai la gak kawan2 aku yang dok terpekik2, sampai aku pun da keliru dan tak faham ape yang dorang cakap.
pada mulanya, aku jadi pemerhati je. aku tak tahu nak buat ape. sakit kaki dek kerana kejang otot@simpul biawak sebab cuaca yang sejuk memang menyeksakan, sampai ke tulang hitam sakitnya. sampaikan ade kawan aku yang suruh aku mengesot ala2 suster ngesot! adik2 semua dikumpulkan didepan dorm masing2. mase yang diambil oleh adik2 ni untuk bangun dan bersiap agak lambat la jugak, lebih kurang nak dekat setengah jam, sebab mase aku kene dulu, dlm 10 minit semua da beratur! lepas tu, mereka semua dibawa ke kawasan tanah lapang sebelum mata mereka ditutup dengan tuala.
bermulalah aktiviti yang sebenar..
setiap kumpulan akan dihandle oleh beberapa orang senior. aktivitinya, bebas..tak kira la apa yang nak dibuat. sebenarnya, apa yang aku buat pada malam tu mostly nak menguji cara adik2 ni bekerjasama, communication dan ketahanan fizikal n mental. kesian adik2 yang ade kat group 6 ni. teruk dikerjakan secara mental oleh aku, azreen, Aisyah Zainudin, Hidayah Bohari, Radhi, n Fadzril Syafiq. mcm2 soalan yng kami tanye, dan mcm2 fakta yang kami manipulasi. terkial2 adik2 nak menjawab. tapi, yang paling boleh dipuji, pegangan tangan mereka antara satu sama lain adalah sangat kemas! mcm2 cara kami buat untuk melepaskan pegangan tangan adik2 ni, tapi mmg sia2 je. ade yang kami hasut, pun tak berjaya juga. kira adik2 ni mmg la boleh menjadi harapan bangsa di masa hadapan. oleh kerana kesian, pada akhir sesi, aku bagi adik2 ni coklat M&M. tu je yang sempat aku capai sebelum keluar bilik malam tu.
apa2 pun, tahniah kat adik2 yang berjaya mengharungi malam 'penyeksaan'. harap jangan la benci kami lepas ni. aku takut je, nnt ade pulak adik2 ni yang pandang 'slack' je kat aku mase kat fakulti. semua aktiviti m=ni mmg da turun temurun, dan adik2 ni pun akan buat ape yang aku buat 3 tahun lagi...
semua perkara mesti ada permulaannya. walaupun manusia seringkali hanya berserah pada takdir, namun sedarlah bahawa langkah pertama yang diambil itu kadangkala dapat mengubah nasib yang telah tertulis, kerana ' Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib sesuatu kaum melainkan oleh diri mereka sendiri'
kadangkala aku terfikir, dimanakah sepatutnya aku bermula?Didepan, dibelakang, dikiri, dikanan, diatas, atau dibawah? semua persoalan ini hanya mampu dijawab oleh diri kita sendiri. walaupun kita boleh meminta pendapat orang lain, namun pendapat itu tidak semestinya jawapan yang tepat pada persoalan kita, kerana hanya kita yang memahami diri sendiri, dan itu yang sepatutnya berlaku.
Apabila aku bersendirian, kadangkala aku terfikir, 'apakah langkah pertama yang telah aku ambil? apakah ianya untuk kebaikan atau sebaliknya? apakah langkah pertama itu telah berjaya tiba di destinasi atau sekadar tersadai di tepi jalan?' semua persoalan ini seringkali berlegar di ruang fikiran. akhirnya aku membuat kesimpulan sendiri...'hanya dengan langkah pertama yang ada hala tujuan akan berjaya!'
Jadi,tetapkan hala tuju diri, dan mulakan langkah pertama, tidak kira untuk apa jua tujuan, termasuklah langkah pertama aku untuk mem'blog', supaya semua isi didalam kepala aku ini mampu dicurah dan dikongsi dengan semua..
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